I did the working earlier, and flipping the Ganesh work before the Dantalion work, that seems to help the work and I did this a little earlier, but damn I need a break. What I haven’t done, is the 108 repetitions of the mantra I am working with when I need it. 108 only takes about 5-7 minutes and its quite effective, but alas. I haven’t done it. So just incase some one needs it, heres how to count with out a mala. I tend to just count the 3 middle fingers which is 9, then just go around 4 times in a hand. Then I do use the second to count the malas.
In a couple days, I feel like we are going to switch back to some hard work, but this work is a part of the process so I need the switch it to go to town.
Well its working, not as fast as Id like. There is clear results over all, and some other things changing around the issues. the situation is just not changing fast enough or as throughly, but I have seen alot of grace thrown my way. Its hard to accept. I am struggling with it, right that sense of fair exchange and grace most meditate more on acceptance.
Usually I don’t like posting multi-day stuff, BUT I am going to this time cause all these are related.
I went through friday the 13th and wholly shit…. the next three days became a blur. I mean some old-school crazy shit happened. Friday was bad enough that I went in and did Shiva work in addition to the Ganesh work. It was not like oh shit everything is fucked, but I got very little sleep and had some minor bad luck. But when your doing 30 days of constant 2 magical rituals a day, while doing an MBA, with work stress etc, it becomes paper-cuts.
Saturday I did some MAJOR work in addition to the Dantalion work for a friend who is suffering a pretty blatant racism that could end her career. For people who don’t know, I used to be a SHARP ( skinhead against racial predudice). Ok I never really shaved my head all the way, but did get in some scraps. Even though I was using negative forces, I was clearly doing so in line with Justice. I felt compelled to help and when you are working on this Grace element, and accepting it, that means when you feel compelled, you should do things. This was a fucking crazy ritual. Huge fire outside, and the minute I asked for a sign of the spirit, shit started raining and the wind kicked up. The problem, it was 35 F which sucked. But I hammered at that ritual and the people involved were like Jesus man ( they can speak for themselves on this one if they choose), jesus christ that was fucked up in the magnificent way. BTW, that one already got results in some ways already.
Then Sunday there was a huge setback with the work we are working on, and then there wasn’t. Literally the set back undid itself in a day. This was fucking really strange and there was a ton of exceptions and strangeness to even make the situation dissolve. Literally people had to over-ride standard procedures. Enough so that I was like WTF and had to rely on people I know to do some divination work with me. It happened then just undid it self. It was leaning toward a major incident ( there was some money costs), and then it just dissolved. I for the life of me could not figure out the reason, the why, or the meaning. I could have understood it if lasted longer, but really I couldn’t do it. At the same time, I went so hard on the Dantalion work that I damn near lost consciousness. Essentially what I did, was take a deep seated death impulse in a person, and loop it in the cognitive structures so it wasn’t self-empowering, but self-destroying as far as energy goes. Give death itself, a wonderful energy Ouroboros-like deep negative thought pattern killer. It takes some real hard work and cleverness to do this one, but thats why Dantalion I think is an underrated spirit. Capsizing ships is cool, but changing the thoughts of another… that’s power in our world.
Needless to say the incident screwed things up, and then I had to adjust on Monday, by you guessed it… DOING more magical work to keep other parts of the greater project. So I was working with my Skull Pwen that I worked with on the last challenge, to remove negativity as the readings came out that this was all needed, but the parts of the work that muffle magical energies, is different for this part of the work. So I had to have two different kinda of muffles. In general, by Monday night, I am staying up to 4 am just playing the stupid video game same with Tuesday. This is just magical burnout and me trying to heal shit up, but the work on the #domagick, well unbroken, and we are GETTING results. Then Monday is also FEED Legba day so… fuck just fuck fuck.
By Tuesday, the Dantalion be like.. just authorize us to work on it, we got this, you’ve fed us well. I got my offering, I am on this ( sure enough the next day, big time positive blip with the person we are working to heal). We got this Man,.. Apparently you do.
Mind you, I still have finals and work ( but I am keeping up sorta, this weekend will be catch up). So it usually takes me a couple days to figure things out on the gnostic burn phase. The thing is this is not work I can really take a pause from. The stakes are little to high and in some ways, shit is working just in a crazy unpredictable way. All the days felt like a blur. 2 hours of ritual ( more like 5 out in the rain on Saturday), and a weird just crazy.
Did I mention too, I am moving my home office. Yeah After doing some Ganesh work on Tuesday, that kinda finally settled in that right after finals, I have to move a bunch of stuff…. including some wards. Oops, no rest for the wicked.
Today is Friday 4/13. Usually I have ok to good luck on Friday the 13th, not today.
I took off today, but still had to work cause of emergencies at work. My headphones broke. There was major backsliding ( possibly caused by illness), in people’s behavior. I got hate mail on twitter ( btw, fuck off to the person who sent that… just thought Id slip that in). I got 3 hours sleep. There was a fail on the metrics ( backsliding), we set out and basically I threatened to get the the chains out ( in classical evocation work, to “torture and bind” the entity). Probably not the most “grace” filled thing I could do, but the message was sorta there. While I might play nice, I’m not going to be taken advantage of either. Results or we go all classical. I know thats not exactly the demonology way but eh, Dantalion was getting a little pushy on some things, and I basically was not going to have it. Results or no dice on what was asked for. Generally I will be generous on the praise ard rewards. In retrospect, I probably need to bust out my emergency mantra work ( the mantra I am working with), more often on days like this.
So I am going to do the work now, the earlier “threat”, I am going to leave aside and try to be more graceful. I am going to reverse the Dantalian work and Ganesh work, or sandwich the Dantalion work by some rounds of mantra work.
On the positive side, BBQ season is now open so I did that.
Addendum: So I reversed the order of the Ganesh and Dantalion work and I threw in a bit of Shiva work ( Om Namah Shivaya ). This was very effective. I have a HUGE body buzz, and then I went right into the Dantalion work who was more subdued ( obviously, I was an asshole earlier, and the demon really wants a longer and more permanent connection, and generally was overconfident about what they could do, or my projection was). Readings game back that everything was fine and this was a correction that was needed ( the earlier one). Still the order mattered and it was var easier and more enjoyable to start with the ganesh stuff, mostly cause the initial infernal banishing/elemental centering took a lot less work and was far more enjoyable after the chakras were open and aligned. Cross parading work, it is what it is.
On a side note, I think I need to do some experimentation again, come up with some crazy but not that crazy stuff 🙂 for fun.
Not really all in, the last couple days. Again, I have been seeing mixed results., although the Ganesh work. The trauma and spiritual wounds are fucking tough to heal. Progress is being made but, again I have concerns about sustainability. So I can see in some ways there are better interactions, but really don’t know. Other situations seem to be moving around the situation being alchemized, to cause social changes that cause emotional change… the changes are not expected and they are a little weird, but I think they would work to help solidify results.
I am not a blind following magician, I know sometimes Daemons play tricks? Is this a trick? Now I really have to meditate on those grace aspects into the relations to how the daemonic work.
Patience is not really a strong point of me and with school, work, I do feel overloaded ( not like my associate GEEZ), but still a little tweaked.
So I started at 3 am. I know why, I just didn’t want to do the work and really Dantalion was a little eh. This is just a reaction to work, and stress… kinda like a yo man things are too imbalanced. Mostly when I get real stressed, I just play a stupid video game ( forged Alliance) then get my ass kicked and then want to win, but I did the work on this point then did the Ganesh work. There wasn’t much to say.
So there has been some major attitude shifts in the person we are doing the work on, but there was some with some of the metrics. Thats the thing about influence work, and healing work, there is ups and downs in the process. Backsliding, Now I am wondering if the work I am doing is sustainable or related to how hard I can do the summoning. There seemed to be some backsliding, and if it depends on the summoning, the work will fail. If its not sticking as a cognitive restructuring, the heavy lifting of this work is not working. It is too early too tell, and this backslide, don’t know.
From that Ganesh mantaa work, I am getting a lot of insights that are useful. For instance, I have a associate who is doing 2 degrees, works, has a wife, and is trying to do a startup. I feel that way with some of the things I do… … clearly this dude has too much going on, and really doesn’t do any of them well, but is desperate for some sort of change. This 3 am thing, is really similiar to this, except I am less hopeful about things, hence a video game gives you some sense of win. Now for me, I tend to have a lot of ideas that are good but now I am starting to prioritize things by these metrics.
There are lots of things, that just seem like they should have worked, but I don’t like doing them anymore. The momentum is keeping me going and the fear of loss, but really the projects should probably die. That mantra I am working with has a side effect of letting you let that shit go, or maybe thats the point of the mantra.