Today was a little more boring, no real long losts.

Took a 3 mile walk while doing Condensing breathing and Inner Smile ( 40 minutes ), Did sweat profusely.

and drove up to Michigan,

Too late now to do the full Gigong, tomorrow is a bunch of Vodou work so go figure.  Going to sleep now.

This is more of reflective post but will have the jounraling in it, but it is also one that may anger some people.  I am ok with that, cause it comes from the heart.

For several months, maybe longer, I have been wondering why I do any public magic?  Couple that with a growning desire to well to be blunt cut ties to various magical orders I have been a part of.  Further kinda distancing myself from those currents.  The Choronzon ritual really brought into focus alot of these issues, that I was in some places trying to hide from.  I read a post today, a critic of someone else's book on Amazon.  I won't name the book.  Suffice to say, not my book, mostly people just critisize me for being "fluffy"... those of you at the choronzon ritual would call me that.     First, I dont make decisions rashly, and no this wont be a shocking post on any decisions, althouhg I realized a couple things that directly related to the criticisms armed at that person's book.  This will be long and drawn out.

The criticisms basically boiled down to two things first: Look at the author's life, dont buy this bullshit.. His life is terrible and does not get tangible results in his life because he does not excel "real" in anything.  People should use common sense and critical thinking and not buy that bullshit.

First, I will attack the criticism of the critique.  First off, magick is a skill.   AKA you can make the claim that it should related to other endevors ( a claim I would agree with), but if a person had similiar training in Car Repair, that I have with magic they would have a career they could enjoy in Car Repair... possibly at the level of a nascar or rally mechanic.  Thus although there is a shit ton of work for real magical development, there is not a one to one correlation between results  ( aka magic requires a vehicle for expression).   Second, if you are so in love with a culture that at every term tries to decimate your being,  I say great for you.  Let me know how that works out?  Imagination has immense power, perhaps the one saving grace of a dying culture that is closer and closer to ant colonies.

Critique of the Critique aside....

Magic is a direct confrontation with reality, not an escape from it.  Its a confrontation on multiple levels.  First, you are confronting the very cynism expressed in the critique by the material world.  This Mememic cultural undercurrent says, none of this is real, why arent you all rich?  Have beautiful blonds, and are power brokers in the world.  This magic is all bullshit.  I am extremely sympathetic to this view at times.  This is exactly what I told my brother at one point not so many years ago ... ok more then a few yeas ago.  Subjective experience is not a result, and most of us who are into magic are not rich, famous, or have any of the trappings of power in society.  The Spiritual among you will point out thats because we will have things in balance, or point out the enlightened state of the people they would learn from.  I would claim that the critique is probably valid at the cultural level giving the terms of the culture.  We should be more powerful and have more control then we do.  Period, but that confrontation isnt always in our favor and that same cultural confronation has every reason to brutally and in everyway supress magical development if you see magic as empowerment and control.  Think about it for a minute.

Its Wednesday.  I have  a head cold.

So Saturday, I did a massive amount of healing on a person out in Michigan,
A shit ton
almost 12 hours of work

Gra Bwa Herbwork
Ancestor Work
Djab Removal
Damballah work
with a Side of Obatalla fixing a person's head, or more correctly a destiny
add some "discontent" from someone there who wanted to see them suffer but cant admit it.

12 hours later, they have a shot, what they do from there is theres
but I was wiped out the next two days,
Literally the next day, couldnt even drive home
That was sunday

Monday drive home at like 5 am, and just crashed hard. Feed some spirits.

Morning:

Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram with

Lunchtime:

Did the Daily Practice Routine Gigong with my additions detailed here.

Evening:

Breakfast

In the morning, did a sexualy Energy exchange with a spirit I work with. This was done with Condensing breathing aftter the spirit showed up

and that was integrated into the core body energy

( I wont say what spirit), but it was very ecstatic and very positive in every way. Feel a shit town better. ( I Am not going to say what spirit). This was a very intense sexual exchange

and really pulled the energy in

Evening.

Inner Smile to sleep.

I have been doing daily work, but I stopped journaling it for a while. Now I will start journaling it again ( however some things I will just list as private, but that I am doing work but it was private or not to be released to the public ).

Morning

Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram ( Yep returning to basics), trying to include the color scheme of the Caballaistic Cross into the bansihing ( this was not something I learned originally).   TO DO list, get the middle pillar down ( although Regardie is so tedious).

Morning

As I have been doing more and more, I seem to be eating better ( although not quite eating well enough).

Performed the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram

Lunch ( Meditative Walk

Gnostic Pentagram Ritual Astral Banishing

In the Morning I performed the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram

At lunch I tried to perform the Gnostic Pentagram Ritual. After doing my daily walking meditation.

Traveling made this rougher.

Morning:

Gnostic Pentagram ritual of the Pentagram ( Astral)

Driving time ( at lunch I came up with a very disciplined daily schedule), it will take me a bit of time to adjust and work that one. It is good however. It involves morning Gigong and a bunch of stuff.

Evening:

PHYSICAL cleaned the temple space