Today is Friday 4/13. Usually I have ok to good luck on Friday the 13th, not today.
I took off today, but still had to work cause of emergencies at work. My headphones broke. There was major backsliding ( possibly caused by illness), in people’s behavior. I got hate mail on twitter ( btw, fuck off to the person who sent that… just thought Id slip that in). I got 3 hours sleep. There was a fail on the metrics ( backsliding), we set out and basically I threatened to get the the chains out ( in classical evocation work, to “torture and bind” the entity). Probably not the most “grace” filled thing I could do, but the message was sorta there. While I might play nice, I’m not going to be taken advantage of either. Results or we go all classical. I know thats not exactly the demonology way but eh, Dantalion was getting a little pushy on some things, and I basically was not going to have it. Results or no dice on what was asked for. Generally I will be generous on the praise ard rewards. In retrospect, I probably need to bust out my emergency mantra work ( the mantra I am working with), more often on days like this.
So I am going to do the work now, the earlier “threat”, I am going to leave aside and try to be more graceful. I am going to reverse the Dantalian work and Ganesh work, or sandwich the Dantalion work by some rounds of mantra work.
On the positive side, BBQ season is now open so I did that.
Addendum: So I reversed the order of the Ganesh and Dantalion work and I threw in a bit of Shiva work ( Om Namah Shivaya ). This was very effective. I have a HUGE body buzz, and then I went right into the Dantalion work who was more subdued ( obviously, I was an asshole earlier, and the demon really wants a longer and more permanent connection, and generally was overconfident about what they could do, or my projection was). Readings game back that everything was fine and this was a correction that was needed ( the earlier one). Still the order mattered and it was var easier and more enjoyable to start with the ganesh stuff, mostly cause the initial infernal banishing/elemental centering took a lot less work and was far more enjoyable after the chakras were open and aligned. Cross parading work, it is what it is.
On a side note, I think I need to do some experimentation again, come up with some crazy but not that crazy stuff 🙂 for fun.
So April 12,
Not really all in, the last couple days. Again, I have been seeing mixed results., although the Ganesh work. The trauma and spiritual wounds are fucking tough to heal. Progress is being made but, again I have concerns about sustainability. So I can see in some ways there are better interactions, but really don’t know. Other situations seem to be moving around the situation being alchemized, to cause social changes that cause emotional change… the changes are not expected and they are a little weird, but I think they would work to help solidify results.
I am not a blind following magician, I know sometimes Daemons play tricks? Is this a trick? Now I really have to meditate on those grace aspects into the relations to how the daemonic work.
Patience is not really a strong point of me and with school, work, I do feel overloaded ( not like my associate GEEZ), but still a little tweaked.
So I started at 3 am. I know why, I just didn’t want to do the work and really Dantalion was a little eh. This is just a reaction to work, and stress… kinda like a yo man things are too imbalanced. Mostly when I get real stressed, I just play a stupid video game ( forged Alliance) then get my ass kicked and then want to win, but I did the work on this point then did the Ganesh work. There wasn’t much to say.
So there has been some major attitude shifts in the person we are doing the work on, but there was some with some of the metrics. Thats the thing about influence work, and healing work, there is ups and downs in the process. Backsliding, Now I am wondering if the work I am doing is sustainable or related to how hard I can do the summoning. There seemed to be some backsliding, and if it depends on the summoning, the work will fail. If its not sticking as a cognitive restructuring, the heavy lifting of this work is not working. It is too early too tell, and this backslide, don’t know.
From that Ganesh mantaa work, I am getting a lot of insights that are useful. For instance, I have a associate who is doing 2 degrees, works, has a wife, and is trying to do a startup. I feel that way with some of the things I do… … clearly this dude has too much going on, and really doesn’t do any of them well, but is desperate for some sort of change. This 3 am thing, is really similiar to this, except I am less hopeful about things, hence a video game gives you some sense of win. Now for me, I tend to have a lot of ideas that are good but now I am starting to prioritize things by these metrics.
There are lots of things, that just seem like they should have worked, but I don’t like doing them anymore. The momentum is keeping me going and the fear of loss, but really the projects should probably die. That mantra I am working with has a side effect of letting you let that shit go, or maybe thats the point of the mantra.
SO I had some interesting insights while doing the work with Ganesh.
So its 108 of the mantra
Om Dhumraketave Namah — Ohm Doom-RAH Kay-too-VAY Nah-mah-hah
with some chakra work after doing the Dantalion work. That’s just so you know.
When I put my head down and just focus at work, and doing my own products, not really on interviewing, deeper down, or even to much social media… I tend to make more money and consistently more. Its not that I enjoy my job more, so its not that. I think its cause I don’t focus any magical energies on those things, and just focus on creating and doing on my work and shit moves down. Literally, its just not playing along in the occulture game so much. I mean 1000’s of dollars too. Its not that I don’t want to write and create, I just don’t want to do the game. The insight is that withdrawing inward resulted in more cash.
That has implications for how I strategically plan business and will be working on that more clearly when I sit down to do post mbaqanga work.
The Dantalion work for healing is really working. When I described the kinds of work to a friend, they said, you are doing cognitive behavioral therapy. Yep. Exactly, low level neural recoding via magic for a healing effect or more correctly, the results we are seeing is what SHOULD be happening if therapists gave a shit. The results are well within the range of therapeutic modalities, but people tend to not give a shit and half-ass it when they are doing the work of therapy. Therapy is hard fucking work, I wish people would treat it the right way. Now that said, when the friend made that immediate jump and told me I was really onto something magically speaking, with the way I was moving things around, I know I am learning something and on the right track with that validation. Most binding or healings are “heal this person mentally” which is problematic, vague and generally not going to work. I think that would rarely work, there is always a ton of resistance and “healed” is a troublesome concept. Now, if you start going “have their perceptual and cognitive system pay less attention to this, and more to this”… eh most people will kinda just accept that and thats way more dangerous and powerful but takes cleverness and some psychology knowledge. Dantalion loves that, and really, I think thats the minimal price of entry to even work with the spirits.
The thing is, if the change seems innocuous enough, it requires far less effort then bindings. I am freaking learning, this is all stuff you’d use in hypnosis, but this is with no vocal hypnosis involved.
Clearly theirs actual real world applications such as sales, closing a job interview, healing ( which I am doing), self-change, self-destruction. Trust me there are endless applications of this work. Later I should write about how this is different or related to jar spells such as sweetness, and how that works in a different mechanism slightly,
You know what the problem is with doing magical work of a repetitive nature like this is one entity gets a little boring. I am sure that why in the challenges, people try to get around that. This is the stage of the magical work being a grind. I sorta got to work on the ritual to make it little less eh.
The truth is, most magicians feel like it should be one and done, and certainly clients do, but multiple workings are usually needed. With Client work, its 150.hour and really most workings honestly even with quality magicians should take 7+ hours in my experience, unless you really are at a fulcrum point, which means the divinations were really on point, or intuition and are really lucky… Thats rare. ( BTW 7 *150 = 1050 dollars which is what I am will be moving my pricing structure too after this challenge with a retainer and contracts). Usually theres alot more heavy lifting to get things to work.
Now I am going a Dantalion and Ganesh work, but the Ganesh work is far more internal so that feels very different. With Dantalion the work is externally focused and we have been seeing results, just meh. Does not help that I am doing the work in the same location and have finals and other things. I have one purpose basically in mind. Now one day, I did two Dantalion rituals, or two meditations, and got solid results. Is this a situation where I should be asking for more for me? That doesn’t seem grace, but it could be since this is a problem. Ganesh I can tell is doing the work. Its clearing internal channels, I am just in that finals zone and am a little tired. So right the cleansing work that feels like ok its blessing and grace and the results are much greater then the work. I am not sure how to accept Grace from the daemonic in a meaningful way.
I have been getting messages but really, absolutely anyone should distrust those. Unless you are deep in trance, you get in the way of the message. One weird message was that Lucifer really wanted to speak after the 30 days of work. That my life would enter a new stage, and lets talk about taking it to the next level in good ways, while I did and get initiated in Vodou, within the Daemonic, Lucifer is very much a strong guide… and has at times stepped in and given me verifiable message of great importance. The last time, he stepped in, I pretty much do what I do, ignore it… Lots of shit always wants to talk. So he brought the message sidewise and it saved me from having to be part of Katrina ( the hurricane). So when I get the “ lets talk”, I tend to more fully investigate. The muffling effect to of the work, means the essential messages are more clear, and thats important. No one should just trust messages directly, as we the receiver mess it up…. well actually its just how we are put together subconsciously. We always are playing the telephone game.
Everyone should be very suspect of direct messages without a shit ton of validation and testing, so thats what I will be doing. Validating the messages especially the Lucifer message.
Well. I had some really intense rituals tonight. Dantalion wanted to talk about a great number of things, this was a pretty extensive conversation. We talked about more then a few things, and it was generally an intense ritual. We were working on the reframing of one the issues, and working on some more advanced techniques of energy mind transformation / persuasion. That isn’t why I called him or her, s(he) just made it very clear, s(he) was going to give those techniques and I was going to learn em. Grace right, thats that. Need to learn the techniques, cause I will need em later. Right, Right, Then we did the work.
Now, I went into the Ganesh ritual after the fact and it was very very strange. Obviously the Ganesh ritual after the hard core Demonology with the chakra work resets the system. Both that someone called me on the phone from a strange number ( was listing to music), and then the dog tried to interfere, by jumping on me. I just kept going, but it was a little rough, then the dog fell asleep. I kept getting almost a smokey Ganesh, and was getting sorta of pulled into another place. IT was very powerful, but only did 1 mala. Again felt like the whole system got cleaned out by the mantra.
Theres been a few other times I have spent meditating on that whole grace work in terms of the greater work I was doing. It is what it has been, often just need stillness. I always feel like the work keeps going with school and can’t get time to meditate like I should. Even now going to bed very late. I need to stop that 🙂 Hard to write tonight, taking so much time.