Daily Work

Saturday Flying over to San Fransico

Sunday Private not going to be talked about Astral Rituals, yes I am doing stuff. Just not able to talk about it.

Monday. Morning

Did a day reading just to get a vibe.. Came up with 9 of swords, Prince of Swords etc.

Gnostic pentagram Ritual with conceptualized banishing, where I was taking the cruelty and swords and pulling those patterns out myself and the environment around me, and pushed all those contextual energy patterns into the sun ( This is a HypnoEnergerics on the fly metaphor technique), and there are beginnings of the techniques are in Hands on Chaos Magic. Not 15 minutes later, someone called me with bad news, that was really cruel and would have put me into a mental conundrum ( Prince of Swords at a programing conference when I am trying to get cut through that and away from that).

Didn't have a mental meltdown, and it definitely helped,. Was upset for 30 seconds, then it disappeared ( I would probably have been much worse). Tarot reading was completely accurate., although a little quicker then I would have thought. That Prince of Swords is a very accurate picture of the general trends going on ( as I will describe), that with the Cruelty that came up = futility ( basically I would have gotten mentally divergent ). Paid the Crossroads.

20 minutes of Object concentration

followed by the Clyman Daily Practice Routine. 30 minutes.

Feeling Stuck, and Moving Forward.

As I figured out, a few current situations just have so much inertia that its hard to get out of them directly. The IT thing relates to so many issues including fear of change, self esteem, lack of faith, lack of resources, lack of time...

Basically, the answer is... a host of well entrenched excuses ( or lets call them internal demons)

This is somewhat sensible risk aversion. The problem isn't only a excuse but a lack of well formed vision ( or goal ). There is a lot of things I could do, such as writing another book, however, I am faced with the simple question of this action would effectively change my state. I recently had an event which would have fundementally change my state of being, only to have it rolled back to an original previous state of living. It happens.

I do not think I am alone in the problem of lack of compelling vision backed up by observable facts. Vision and belief are far harder parts of metaphysics then people would believe. Sure its easy to get surface trivial changes, but really believing and forging a path that has not been created yet is far harder. The objective transformations being the real issue. Part of this is again, looking to other people to see successful models when I should be looking to myself. In the words of the Key Note speaker today, Just DO IT.

I won't lie, the last 6 months have been pretty brutal with a lot of emotional ups and downs that strains, very extreme events. That extremeness, including the stagnation with IT, has been seriously creating a crisis of faith, of direction, of hope. The last month has been beyond my level of coping ability through my normal level of banishing and Gigong. But I aslo have been inconsistant in my doing these things ( however I have been doing daily work), to this end, I kinda know the road out of this situation. Here is one Recipe to help with this sort of thing. If you have been having a rough time of it lately, as many people seem to be.

1. I am going to restart Liber MMM from scratch baby with an emphasis on object concentration, no-motion and no thinking. Connect your breath. This is described in Hands on Chaos Magic and Liber Null and Psychonaut. This step increases mental focus despite a more difficult external reality. Working with the principle of dharma and the hermetic principle of mind, structure the internal mind, to structure the surrounding reality.

2. For ME: Continuing to write even about painful things. Its needed, it helps, and gets me in the writing mode of thinking. AKA despite obstacles, it is moving me in the write direction ( pun intended). 30 minutes of writing as a magical act ( with that kinda of focus,movement and even ritualized work). Believe it or not, if you can do this in a mild trance state as advised in Hands On Chaos Magic, this can be quite effective as a type of textual alchemy. Its especially effective if you can rewrite and tell a different take on the events. Change the Theme, Change the experience.

    

3. Solar work, solar solar solar. Confidence, good feelings, abundance of the sun, more. Mapping the solar vibe using techniques in Hands On Chaos Magic, NLP, and self-hypnosis will allow you to make a personal solar vibration. Invoke a solar state often ( Hands On Chaos Magic has multiple examples of how to create a ritual to do this ).

    

4. Start working on a formalized exit plan for transitioning from your physical situation into the situation you do want. Start from the new situation and work back to where you are right now breaking the tasks down to as small of tasks as possible. Work backward and ask, how did I get to the previous step and make sure you know you can do this. Again Hands On Chaos Magic has examples of this. Create a story about this new situation and start acting on it.

    

5. Try out some things to shake your reality up, from legal ethnogens, to rebirthing, or even skydiving. Anything which changes and shakes up your perspective is good.

    

6. Banish Often and laugh when you can.

Together this prescription should help the issue. I know the majority of my personal energy bruising has come from the suck of IT and several severe incidents really in the last few months. Hands On Chaos Magic has lots of ways to move forward even when you are stuck.

and the words in the keynote speech out in San Fransico,

Just do it

of course said in a nordic way.