Well geez, up and down. Today, there was steps in the right direction. I am kind of seeing up and down, and not consistency. So there are benefits/results and I am convinced some of this is desire of result issues ( being in the thick of it, is making it hard to see the forest for the trees)
I am in finals but still doing the work. I did a full ritual with Dantalion. I am convinced that the majority of real healing issues involved in the case are structural issues. Those structural issues can be more important then the individual themselves. This case is one where the systems and social realities are more important than the individual psychology. This is probably true for most things. People have a false conception of how much “individual efforts” affect the outcome versus roles and systems. Research doesn’t back it up. I think that is often the case and that how hard magic is often is related how hard to how many systems involved are resistant to change. One would think, oh, its a healing, simple. If you measure progress in observable results, you can see “psychological indicators” and then see a problems outside of the individual are actually constraints. Depending on what those are, you may or may not be able to work on those depending on how deep the constraints are ( magic work to “remove bias” and working against stereotypes probably is a much bigger work then the healing you think you are doing).
Unfortunately, the individual can change fast, but usually the surrounding systems do not change as quickly and in some cases and those systems include other people. Hence, this is a desire of result issue. Looking for observable changes, when the systems are conflicting meaning the final outcome is not yet there.
I used to think the first book a budding magician should read was a intro psychology book, now I think the second book they should read is an introduction to systems theory.
In the work, I came to the conclusion, I should do a much larger homa with my mantra. The timing does not work out for a clean 30 days, so I will be extending the work till the weekend of the 4-5. My bro, Jason will be in, so I figure, thats a good time to do a full fire homa with the mantra. Although the work started with Dantalion, I feel like it should end with the mantra that denotes coming out of Darkness ( Kali Yuga) to light ( a different age) in a time sense. It all fits the mythos of the vedic, seems to fit ecumenically and thematically. It also fits with the themes coming out in the work, and a final push toward grace. BTW thats 10 japa Mal. ( 1080 reps) in Fire, 10800 full reps.. should be a wild ride.