April 11

So I started at 3 am.   I know why, I just didn’t want to do the work and really Dantalion was a little eh. This is just a reaction to work, and stress… kinda like a yo man things are too imbalanced.   Mostly when I get real stressed, I just play a stupid video game ( forged Alliance) then get my ass kicked and then want to win, but I did the work on this point then did the Ganesh work.   There wasn’t much to say.  

Results Report:

So there has been some major attitude shifts in the person we are doing the work on, but there was some with some of the metrics.  Thats the thing about influence work, and healing work, there is ups and downs in the process.  Backsliding,  Now I am wondering if the work I am doing is sustainable or related to how hard I can do the summoning.  There seemed to be some backsliding, and if it depends on the summoning, the work will fail.  If its not sticking as a cognitive restructuring, the heavy lifting of this work is not working.  It is too early too tell, and this backslide, don’t know.

From that Ganesh mantaa work, I am getting a lot of insights that are useful.   For instance, I have a associate who is doing 2 degrees, works, has a wife, and is trying to do a startup.  I feel that way with some of the things I do…  … clearly this dude has too much going on, and really doesn’t do any of them well, but is desperate for some sort of change.  This 3 am thing, is really similiar to this, except I am less hopeful about things, hence a video game gives you some sense of win.   Now for me, I tend to have a lot of ideas that are good but now I am starting to prioritize things by these metrics.

Financial Gain

Fun/happiness.

Person Meaning/Mastery/Utility

There are lots of things, that just seem like they should have worked, but I don’t like doing them anymore.  The momentum is keeping me going and the fear of loss, but really the projects should probably die.   That mantra I am working with has a side effect of letting you let that shit go, or maybe thats the point of the mantra.  

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