Healing work is not easy, and do not let anyone tell you differently.  I haven’t done the work yet today but I Want to get the blog out of the way.  I will be burning all the links.

There are a lot of transitions at the end of the challenge that seem unrelated, but I hope they are related.  

This work has been hard difficult and unrewarding.  I feel like there were too many structural issues that are coming from places of trauma induced cognitive impairment along with tremendous stresses.   Although the need and timing of that need was correct, and I thought the methods were, I am going to say this experimental work did not work as expected.  Some very experimental based magical tools were developed that could actually really help some of the participants, but then I am not really sure there is desire of will there.  Healing work is really hard.  Trauma reinforces itself in other people and really at that point everyone is connected as per Reiki 3.  Its the natural cycle of pain that trauma reinforces itself and spreads.  I don’t feel like some of the needed conversations can openly and honestly be had with all pieces and players, and I would no longer and have not for a while be the right person for those conversations. 

Going into the end of finals, and now a host of transitions that honestly may not be personally positive, and needing to make a few other transitions that are very large and uncertain ( such as job shifting), I am left really on edge.  No clear success on this work, leads to uncertain elements and footing going forward.  It actually is a strategic impairment, and one that I will adapt to. This has been the pattern for a while, but I am not sure how to change that given how the chess pieces are arranged other then a very buddhist “just accept it” mindset.  This in fact may be the answer, but its really in this case impossible to just work on something else without some things messing with other things.   Perhaps with some of the new transitions will ease that.  

Tactical magic from Dantalion was working but really, any greater movement failed at this time.  I am not sure what I was expecting.  I feel like I am hitting a desire of result phase, and probably had unrealistic expectations.  I however usually get very good results when effort is applied at this level and if only I was involved with no other pieces, I guarantee there would have been what I consider miraculous results and clear indicators across the board.   Once you add gears in the system, things turn unpredictable and in this case frustrating.      

The thing is that this work is entirely unpredictable when you do greater healing work, and patience is not a virtual.  I will move on, detach, and go.  Its quite possible that the work starts as a small pebble in an intractable situation and moves forward.    I can honestly say, the last 3-4 magical challenges have worked that way.  In some ways, Grad school and work  SLOW everything down.   The Kali work got rid of negative people from my life ( a few back) and really now am really thinking of some completely different social directions which feel much more positive and based around values I actually have,   the ones before that was a massive restructuring of food/diet in relation to stress ( reducing the stress is not really an option in grad school) and I am not a younger student but after that challenge I have lost 10 inches and over 100lbs…. so its never predictable.

But for this and for now, I need to be done and will do so today  moving into writing a Gigong book and doing ALOT more qigong and Vodou ( on Dambalah’s and Obatala points ) and nlp …. basically self-healing  work to beef up the self to do the aspirational work I would like to do.

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